Heaven being alone

How can you believe in pouring rain,
it may not lead you to the ocean.
Why do you want me to be clear-cut,
though I feel heaven being a psycho.

I might have been loved,
might have been wanted,
might have been your heart,
and might have been your life —
was almost your everything,
but not the way you wanted.

What do you want from a drowning ship,
it won't give you the life you deserve.
Why do you expect me to listen to your heart,
though I feel heaven being deaf.

You wanted to be my bedfellow,
but the truth is, I never did.
Had sucked your tongue, brushed your lips,
pulled your hair and pressed your hip,
had kissed your neck, bitten your ears,
caught your waist, to hold you near.
Nothing to blame, nothing for shame,
all in vain, all in pain.

How can you wish to live with the Sun,
if it gets closer you'd be burnt.
Why do you want me to hold you near,
though I feel heaven seeing your tear.

I pretended to be your man,
not for joy, not for fun.
Unconsciously, I carried you on,
lied to you, from dusk to dawn.
Nothing to earn, nothing to learn,
stuck in your net,
no way to run.

What do you hope from a burning heart,
it's got nothing, nothing as its part.
Why do you expect me to speak to you,
though I feel heaven being dumb.

I'd lost myself between your arms,
felt killing pain in your arms.
Breath on my body haunted me,
smile on your face tortured me,
glance at you annoyed me inside,
your politeness was like a tsunami tide.
I never loved you,
and couldn't lie to you forever.

What do you expect from a flying leaf,
it doesn't know where it's headed to.
Why do you want me to be with you,
though I feel heaven, being alone.